The attractive safety net of enrichment classes and tuition

(Photo taken with LC-A+)

A new year has started and OH BOY, it has been really rough going on the education front.

I've shared my thoughts about our nation's obsession to avoid failure and how I am a winner in mediocrity. So there I was, wrapped in my comfortable world of mediocrity when I was rocked out of my zen mode the moment Kai announced that he really wanted to learn how to play the violin. He had asked many times the past years but he sounded dead serious late last year.

When Kai was born, I had hoped he would pick up the violin. But I never signed him up for classes, preferring to let him lead the way. With no request from him for any sort of enrichment classes over his toddler and pre-school years, I decided that my firstborn was the sort that likes to stay home and play, watch TV, play phone/PC games, and read. And so with feelings of apprehension of what lies ahead (i.e. the struggle to get him to practice at home) and excitement (he's finally learning the violin!), we embarked on our first, real enrichment class over the November and December school holidays.

Then school started again this year, and it has been HELL. Kai is more defiant and difficult, perhaps due to a desire to exert his independence as a soon-to-be 8yo. This made it very hard for me to get him to do any thing that needs to be done. Then teachers started handing out homework and one afternoon, after getting lunch into the boy, helping him with homework, AND arguing with him over homework, I looked at the clock and realised that CRAP, there's hardly any time for revision! It's close to 5pm, I need to pick Kit up from school and prepare dinner. Most of all, it hardly seems right to work the boy after dinner when he's been doing homework most of his afternoon. And crap, when is he going to practice his violin?!

So how do other school-going children who have enrichment classes the whole afternoon manage it? How do they find time to tackle the school's homework plus homework set by their tutors and practice on a musical instrument or go for sports training every single day?

Kai doesn't get additional help from external tutors for math or English. He has a Chinese tutor who only sees him once a week but that's hardly enough; one needs to be exposed to the language everyday. I am his external help. I do revision with him on all his subjects on a daily basis but surely I can't be as effective or good as tutors/tuition school. Am I short-changing him?

The thought of sending him to a tuition centre is very attractive. I'd be able to outsource the stress, the teaching, and the frustration. I'd have more time to spend on teaching Kit, who needs to, according to his teachers, improve on his writing and reading skills. (He's only 4yo!) Am I short-changing him too because I don't have time to work on those areas with him?

Kai wrote a poem for me today just before he went to bed. It is a pretty good effort, with only two spelling mistakes. I make mistakes too but the love is there. I hope love would be enough for both of us.

MWAC: Revisiting Havelock and Zion road

Dragon guardian of Giok Hong Tian temple

Burning of hell notes is not allowed here (Giok Hong Tian temple)

Peek-a-boo dragon (Giok Hong Tian temple)

Near our "$2 shop" (Covent Garden)

Goodbye (Covent Garden)

To all my ex-colleagues from Miller Freeman/CMP: We grumbled about moving to Havelock road but when our CMP-days came to an end, it was a sad farewell for all of us. Who could forget Covent Garden and the "$2 shop" that fed the group of hungry editorial staff? We all moved on to new jobs, new challenges but the flats in Covent Garden continued to exist for a while until they had no choice but to move with the times.

(Photos of Giok Hong Tian temple taken with Seagull 4B-1 TLR using Fujichrome 120 ISO64 T64 film; Covent Garden flat taken with the LC-A+ using Kodak Portra 160 film.)

Read more about the disappearing Zion Road Estate here.

With eyes closed

Kit in a quiet moment. Rare.

Life is very exciting with Kit around. I've seen him sped down slopes on his scooter bike with nary a care in the world. Then he'd fly over his bike when it stopped suddenly after hitting a drain/curb. I've chased after him when he zoomed off and jumped straight into the deep end of the pool at three years old and no, he couldn't swim then. I still remember the scene: him disappearing into the pool while I'm still 2m away, arms outstretched.

With him, life is sometimes like watching a disaster unfold on TV in slow-mo. I see the sequence played out frame by frame, with a drawn out, strangled "noooooooooooooooooo" coming from me.

Sometimes, I feel like closing my eyes when I see him speeding down yet another slope, nearly hitting yet another a jogger. He's too fast to stop. I hold my breath when I see him run down a slope, trip over a rock, and at the last minute recover in time to land on both feet safely. I look to the skies when, instead of standing at the side of the longkang (drain) to catch fish, he squats and swims with the fish and explore mouldy rocks. I am praying for intervention, that he doesn't drink the water while he's at it.

There's a strong urge to close my eyes but I don't. I may need to avert an accident.

But I close my "eyes" because childhood is about exploration, getting hurt, having fun, and picking yourself up after a fall.

No one warned me parenthood is such a delicate balance.

(Photo taken with a LC-A+ using Kodak Portra 160 film.)

That's how they got their tan

Redang, Malaysia (October 2013)

We snorkelled three days out of five, including my 4yo. They saw sharks, turtles, lion's mane jellyfish, and loads of other fishes they couldn't name.

They played at the beach everyday while we drank beer and sipped wine.

For the first time, Terence and I didn't feel like babysitters during a vacation. We felt like we've got our old life back, the one we had before this thing called "children" came along.

It's a coming of age trip.

(Photos taken with a LC-A+ using Fujichrome Provia 400X film.)

MWAC: Chinatown

Mum With A Cam (MWAC) photos taken with a LC-A+ and Fuji Velvia RVP 100F 35mm film and Seagull 4B-1 TLR and Lomography Lady Grey 400 ISO 120 film.

MWAC: Around my neighbourhood

(LC-A+; Fuji Velvia RVP 100F Film.)

MWAC: PaserBella

Half of my day revolves around sending the boys everywhere they need to go. Chauffeuring duty can get a little dreary and nerve wrecking especially since the boys don't always want to behave. It can also get boring because I am always going back to the same places week after week.

So I've learned to bring a camera everywhere. Partly to snap OMG moments, partly as a challenge to see how many different perspectives I can capture at the same location.

So here's a Mum With A Cam (MWAC) in PaserBella, a place I go to twice a week.

(LC-A+; Fuji Velvia RVP 100F Film.)

Life in purple

I like purple. Many of my friends like purple. So I naturally bought the LomoChrome Purple XR film (in 35mm) when it was launched. The premise behind LomoChrome Purple is that it is modelled after the Kodak Aerochrome -- a discontinued infrared film developed for government surveillance. LomoChrome Purple changes natural tones of your photos into something more surreal, for instance, transforming green to purple (yay!), blue to green, and pink to yellow. Mostly, the photographs take on hues of purple and cyan.

Here's what the world might look like if all the purple-loving people of the world could will it to happen.

(Pulau Ubin; Taken with the Diana F+ using a 35mm back with sprockets.)

This is what the photo looks like in natural tones.

There were unfortunately lots of misses in my first experimental roll. So here's just one more just to show the crazy results you get with this film.

(Giant Baby at Gardens by the Bay; Taken with the Diana F+ using a 35mm back with sprockets.)

My Fujipet experience

At Tekka Market, taken with the Fujipet 35. (Using Fujifilm Superia X-Tra 400)

I try to make sure I still have a life outside of kids, and photography is a way for me to stay sane.

After a looooong search, I finally laid my hands on the Fujipet camera, in fact two Fujipet cameras. The Fujipet is a super cute toy camera manufactured by Fuji Photo Film Co. from 1957 to 1963. (You can read more about the Fujipet here on this excellent blog by moominsean.) It is considered a rare camera as it was never made for sale outside of Japan.

I now own a Fujipet 35 as well as the Fujipet Thunderbird (isn't it a cute name?), the first uses 35mm film while the second uses 120 film.

I am still trying to figure my way around the cameras but what I've discovered is that the Fujipet 35 can take some really sharp photos while the Fujipet Thunderbird gives somewhat a muted, mellow, softer tone compared to the Diana F+. Which do I prefer? I don't know yet. There were certainly a mix of hmm and wow moments with both.

For the full set, check out my Flickr site:
- Flickr set for the Fujipet 35
- Flickr set for the Fujipet Thunderbird

The dustbin called "266", taken with the Fujipet Thunderbird.

Curious

Curiosity didn't kill the cat this time. They had spotted a kitten, which slunk into the safety of the shadows when it saw the boys approach. They were desperate for it to come out and play.
(Photo taken with the Fujipet 35, using Fujifilm Superia X-Tra 400.)

July had just been crazy. Going through Primary 1 is hard work... for me. *slump over keyboard*

It has been interesting lately. I still call my boys, "baby". But they are coming into their own as unique, independent individuals. Kai has always been a very quiet boy. Shy even. But he's shown to be individualistic, very firm and steadfast in what he wants or believes in.

I see that coming out more and more as the days pass. I used to think perhaps he's in a dream world, oblivious to what others are doing or what others think. But he isn't, really. I saw that loud and clear when samples of his class photos came back. There were four versions: the serious one where everyone's lined up neatly and almost not smiling; two fun/cheeky versions where you could make monkey faces; and one that's taken with a fisheye lens. He wasn't smiling in ANY of them.

How disconnected. I thought, and I was concerned. Did he even know what he was suppose to do? Would people think he's an oddball? (God forbid.) I gently brought up the subject when I asked him to decide which photo he'd like to have (the school's taking orders).

"Hey, this looks like a fun photo of your classmates! But you weren't smiling. Did you know you can make funny faces at the camera?" I asked.

"Yes. But I didn't want to because I just wanted to be myself," he said without hesitation.

That's that. I don't know what you think but that is rather mature for a 7yo. And it's also "that's that" when it comes to play. He would tell his friend he wants to take a break and read a book or rest, often to the chagrin of some. A few would threaten to stop talking to him and some would pester him and ask me to intercede. But nope. "I am tired," he'd say firmly and continue doing what he's doing. That's that.

It doesn't mean that he is impervious or immune to bullying, harsh words, or nasty actions. He'd cried buckets when a friend taunted him, called him names, and put him down. In these instances, I've always told him yes it hurts, but if what the person says isn't true, then just walk away from the bully. I told him: To always stand true to yourself. Be firm in what you believe is right.

So I think in Kai's universe, there are things that matter and things that don't.

That's that.

I am curious. I am curious to see how things will unfold for my 7yo. What kind of person will he be?

A winner in mediocrity

Terence likes to tease me sometimes, calling me an under-achieving mum. I don't sign my boys up for a   slew of enrichment of classes. I tell my 7yo to perform to the best of his ability, and that it's ok if he doesn't come in first or score a perfect 10. It doesn't mean that I don't push him when it comes to school work. I am also disappointed if his score isn't what I'd like it to be. But I tell him don't get too hung up on grades.

Then, I started wondering: "What if I am wrong?" Together with my 7yo, I am suddenly thrown into the formal school world where I see students (and parents) jostling to be winners, to be first, to be representing the school in a prestigious competition, to be a prefect, and oh come on, be good at something!

So I am settling for mediocrity because I don't want to compete, I am a loser, I am teaching my children to be losers. Those thoughts went through my head. Perhaps I should sign him up for violin lessons, aikido, Chinese calligraphy, drama... I don't know, something, anything?! Then we'd have a higher chance of discovering that he's a music prodigy, martial arts expert, brilliant artist. Something!

So I turned to Google for help. Typed in "mediocrity children" in the search box, and I found an entry by Dr. Wendy Mogel on The Mother Company website, whose tagline reads "Helping parents raise good people". She wrote:

"Really look to whom you've been given. You receive each child as if they are a packet of seeds without a label. You don't know when that child will bloom, you don't know what kind of flower you're going to get. Your job is to pick the biggest weeds, and then just stand back and wait.

Kai has a loving heart. He is kind.

"You may find-out that you have a child that is not an athlete, or does not have a gregarious personality, or may not be a scholar. But, they may have a wonderful heart, they may be a poet, they may be a mechanic.

Kit is never where I want him to be but he is inquisitive and strong.

"You really want to look at your child, and instead of seeking out perfect experiences, you seek what is a nice fit for their nature -- not for your own unlived life."

Sure. For every article celebrating mediocrity, we'll find another (or 10?) saying that parents should not settle for mediocrity. We'd each find one (or 100?) article that reaffirms our believes, and turn up our noses at other parents' believes. "See, I am right because THIS expert says it is so." (Na-nee-na-nee-boo-boo!)

Mediocrity. Under-achieving. Hot-housing. Over-achieving. I don't know. How does one create a balance, and is there even such a thing as balance. It's either you're mediocre or you're a winner. I think I will continue to struggle with this internally for as long as I am a mother.

What I know is my children are pretty happy. I'm a winner in mediocrity. Oh wait. See, I am a winner!

(Photographs taken with the Lomography ActionSampler with the Lomography Color Negative 400 ISO 35mm film. Unedited by any photo/image software or app.)

Trampoline and the Lomography ActionSampler

When we came back from Japan, we found that the building management had installed a new trampoline in the playground. The boys were excited but when we first discovered it, there were some big kids who were doing circus acts in it. So we decided it'd be safer to go back another day.

They loved it but soon found it too hot after 15 minutes. I got some great shots on my new Lomography ActionSampler (clear), which is so much more forgiving than the Diana F+.

The camera takes four consecutive shots in one single 35mm film. The sequence goes anti-clockwise, starting with the image on the top left.

Kit got tossed around so much when Kai was jumping that after a while, he gave up and just sat on the trampoline. Poor baby!

See. Kit's lying dow while Kai's still at it.

I'm so glad I have the ActionSampler to now catch my monkeys in action. :)

(Photographs taken with the Lomography ActionSampler with the Lomography Color Negative 400 ISO 35mm film. Unedited by any photo/image software or app.)