Friday, December 13, 2013

One of those things about motherhood that no one told you about

Enjoying an ice popsicle while walking through the woods of North Stradebroke island, Australia.
Such a long overdue post.

About a month back, the reality that Kit is no longer a baby hits me in the face. It was a very trying day. He had been acting like a real monkey, running off on his own without telling me, stepping on my shoes every other minute or so, pushing and fighting with Kai, and pulling things off shopping centre shelves. So by time we finally sat down for dinner, I was frazzled, really annoyed, and super stressed.

He started standing on his chair and shoving cutleries around when I told him to please behave. He did so for just five seconds, and promptly went back to being a monkey again. I lost it. With my voice raised, I said, "What's wrong with you? I've already told you to stop it! Why aren't you listening!"

Kit stopped and for the first time in the day, he sat down and became very quiet. I saw his eyes well up with tears and I saw him fighting them back. I saw him swallowing sobs that were fighting to come out of his mouth and he looked away.

My heart broke. Yes, he had been naughty. Yes, he had misbehaved. But instead of acting defiantly, like he always did when I lost it with him in the past, he wanted to cry. My words had hurt him.

Dinner was a peaceful, civilised affair.

After dinner, I gathered him in my arms and told him I was sorry for shouting at him. I asked him to forgive me and please, don't be naughty again. He said ok and that he was sorry too.

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